Road Trips

I think you're all fucked in the head! We're ten hours from the fucking fun park and you want to bail out! Well, I'll tell you something, this is no longer a vacation, it's a quest. It's a quest for fun. I'm gonna have fun and you're gonna have fun. We're all gonna have so much fucking fun we'll need plastic surgery to remove our goddamn smiles! You'll be whistling Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah out of your assholes! I gotta be crazy; I'm on a pilgrimage to see a moose! Praise Marty Moose! Holy shit! Where is the Tylenol?
~ Clark Griswold, "Vacation"

I feel your pain, Clark.

Day One – On the Road

Well, This was a mini road trip to Lake Shawnee Powwow with Friends and Folks. After getting my tires changed and arguing with my children about who sits on what end of the car and removing the potato that has been living in my car for most of the month of August, it was finally departure time. Three dancers and two children headed out on the open road. We were already late for Friday’s Grand Entry. Drive is uneventful despite the fact that Heyna had a weed shirt on and there were three Kansas State Troopers at the McDonalds we stopped at. Sign in blood my oath to give an award-winning appreciation to the inventor of the CD Player. Instead of arriving at campsite with ample time for dancing activities, we arrive in time to 40 with some folks. Found out that the Northern Drum was the Agency. They are Crow/Lakota mainly. Swwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeettttttttttttttttttt.

Day Two - Great Expectations

Woke up at 7 am because my little cussin age 17 decided she was bored. I said, I don’t hear no birds. 10 minutes later someone started beating a hand drum. Which woke the kids. Watched the vendors with their goods, which was the same thing that I saw last week at Grain Valley’s Powwow, but now seducing me into dropping large amounts of cash on things to complete outfits and future outfits. All activities planned for Days Three and Four will now be affected by the delusions of Day Two. Return to campsite from dancing and activities exhausted and approaching delirium. My daughter stood proud and tall with her little blue t dress and fan and shawl and danced northern Traditional. Another stomp dance and 49’s. Fell asleep listening to drums and frisky teenagers that were wandering by my tent and creeping off to undisclosed locations near my tent. Managed to salvage some fry bread for a 3 am snack and drank the remains of the tea in the ice cooler. Forced to eat entire remaining frybread and roasted corn regardless of what it may do to my body. Priorities. Sleep Yoda.


Day Three - The Lost and Found
My little cousin woke me up before the birds sang, promptly at 6:45 am to tell me she wanted to talk.
Cuddin: Hihanni Waste, S’cepansi
Me: Mrpmhm.
Cuddin: I am bored I wanna talk.
Me: Fuck away or die…….
She didn’t. She pulled my cover off my tent.

I lost some money while out there, but I hope things will be fine. $300
come up missing after I got through with Grand Entry Sunday morning.
Someone turned in $100, and the people that found the money left. We dined on Buffalo and Potato and Onion Soup for lunch. And I danced and danced and danced. Our Head Lady was Oglala Lakota just like me, and we talked for a while. After the Powwow, I went in search of liquor. I drove and drove and found all liquor stores closed. I went in a Grocery store and after speaking Espanol to a janitor, I was pointed in the right direction. As soon as I grab my meds, (Schmirnoff and Beer) I head for the check out. The cashier was talking to a lady then she looked up and began to laugh.
Cashier: “No liquor in Topeka after 8 on a Sunday.”
Kell: “Are you serious? What the fuck? This is the last time I come to Detroit or Philadelphia or where ever the hell I am at!!!”
Everyone in line laughed. On the way back to camp my cousin and I saw raccoons and did our Lakota Whoop and chased them down. They escaped, musthave seen the Lakota bumperstickers. LOL. Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhttttttttttttttttttttttttt…………….

Day Four - Well, At Least It Can't Get Any Worse
Left Topeka at 11am and made it back to the City limits. The kids complaints of who’s touching me and who is bothering me, looking at me didn’t seem so bad on the way home. Got home fixed my PC. (Ingrid) She is well on her way to becoming Delilah.
What a mini vacation. I am glad it is over. Welp, until the 15th. The next three day powwow is in White Cloud KS.