Dang, Yo Momma Mean, Shoot! I am going home!

Because I don’t feel like writing any nice posts today, it’s all about the venting on this fine fuckin’ hot Wednesday morning.
I am going to piss some folks off.
But it is time I quit holding back and say it, since this is my blog and I can say whatever I want and you can't stop me. You can judge me, but you can't stop me.
I do not like kids. There. I said it.
Now, before you go calling the Division of Family Services on me, I should tell you that I like MY kids. Love them even. A lot. (Usually.) It’s YOUR kids that I do not like. No, no. Not YOU.
You are in blog land.
I just don't like REAL LIFE kids.
I don't want your kids to MOVE IN NEXT DOOR.
I don't want your kids to come to my house to PLAY.
Other peoples kids suck.
Before I had children I loved to babysit and I loved kids. I babysat kids all through high school. I used to ASK THEIR MOTHER to take them to the park.
For FREE. For fun. I loved kids….
and then I had my own kids and I realized that
MY KIDS ARE BETTER THAN YOURS.
I have the very best kids in all the land and I don't NEED your kids. LOL
Honestly, I think other people's children annoy me because they don't have to follow the same rules that my children follow.
For example, one neighbor girl comes over and every five minutes
I have to give her THE STARE OF DEATH and can you guess what her reply is? "Oh, I didn't know you were watching."
I won't even get into how much that amazes me.
Yesterday the neighbor’s daughter came over and started taking my couch cushions off and LOOKING FOR STUFF.
(She found a lot. Oh, yes. She found A LOT.)
That's rude! RUDE! I hate rude people!
Where’s yo Momma At?!?
The more I write this post, the more I realize that its
not ALL KIDS that I don't like.
Its children of a certain age.
I like your babies and I like your toddlers.
Its children between the ages of six and whenever they outgrow that awkward stage with the big teeth.
I just don't like kids at that stage. They are ANNOYING. My kids are now in that stage. And its a good god damn thing I love him.
My kids are my favorite in all the world, so even though they is going through this stage I still like them. However, I will like them both a lot more when their teeth are a normal size for their faces. I still don't like your kids at this stage.
Not at all.
Am I a bad person?
Things I've discovered since last Monday:
I really need to start looking for dollar bills in the couches.
Lessoned Learned:
Cleaning under the couch cushions, puts paper in yo’ pocket!
Instant Message of the day:
Him: 30/m/Isreal 5’9” 180 wanna fack?
Me: 35/m/South Carolina 6’1” 235 Wanna get shot?